Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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