I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize