Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize