I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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