yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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