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im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
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