Texts From Last Night

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  (518): View more from New York

  im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'

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  (518): im in his phone as 'great ass to tap' http://tfl.nu/xhkl
  Replies (26) Good night (9867) Bad night (1432) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed

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  (573): This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed http://tfl.nu/eoyh
  Replies (17) Good night (5711) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans

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  (914): yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans http://tfl.nu/zwc8
  Replies (6) Good night (965) Bad night (3486) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job

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  (413): I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job http://tfl.nu/ruqn
  Replies (13) Good night (3751) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.

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  (775): Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/8nek
  Replies (11) Good night (2368) Bad night (1585) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics

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  (727): its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics http://tfl.nu/k6wq
  Replies (22) Good night (3983) Bad night (771) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV

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  (908): Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV http://tfl.nu/9om8
  Replies (5) Good night (846) Bad night (1862) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister

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  (303): I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister http://tfl.nu/4y4g
  Replies (5) Good night (1986) Bad night (518)
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  (925): View more from California

  Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?

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  (925): Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm? http://tfl.nu/b5qs
  Replies (10) Good night (1560) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help

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  (614): He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help http://tfl.nu/0uoq
  Replies (5) Good night (1465) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.

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  (808): At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life. http://tfl.nu/lsk4
  Replies (5) Good night (1445) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.

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  (360): Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats. http://tfl.nu/2ns1
  Replies (7) Good night (1411) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (925): View more from California

  Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.

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  (925): Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude. http://tfl.nu/h87p
  Replies (7) Good night (1556) Bad night (304) Order T-Shirt
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.

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  (229): Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now. http://tfl.nu/61qu
  Replies (8) Good night (1122) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.

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  (812): We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested. http://tfl.nu/f61h
  Replies (3) Good night (891) Bad night (237) Order T-Shirt

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