I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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