Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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