hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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