I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
two words...techno handjob
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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