This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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