so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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