Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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