i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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