i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
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what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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