My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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