somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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