left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize