awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize