I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
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