I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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