Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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