they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
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Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
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