I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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