I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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