how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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