I should be sponsored by Trojan
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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