And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize