Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
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Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
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The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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