doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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