You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
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Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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