You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
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I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
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I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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