Pants 0. Shit 1.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize