How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize