nut hugger
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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