i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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