I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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