I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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