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I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
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