don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize