i think my mom watched the whole time
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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