this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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