I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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