just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize