I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize