I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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