I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize