Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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