We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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