Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
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We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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